Every tool has a couple of basic skills or concepts that drive its use. Utilizing personality styles and identity types in everyday communications is no different. Researchers Relationship focused over the years (thousands of them) have found that by understanding someone’s personality type, you can learn much about that person. However, in order to successfully put this understanding into practice, you have to start with (and remember) the basic building blocks.
Over the years, there have been a variety of descriptors for personality types. Many of these descriptors were, at best, difficult to remember and, at worst, held negative connotations. In recent years, companies such as Insight Learning, Four Upgraded lenses, and True Colors have tried to make the job of setup easier by using four common colors (Blue, Green, Gold, and Orange) as the handholds for creating connections between identity characteristics and our common language. Those connections are crucial if we are to put theory into practice.
Through this framework of understanding lie the building blocks — the concepts that form the walls. Without these basics, the knowing that we strive for will never be fully acquired.
Source #1: Everyone is Unique
Every person you meet has some characteristics of each identity. The precise combination of motivations and behaviors demonstrated by someone make up their identity selection. Most people have one color that is similar to them than the other three. However, some people have points distributed equally among two, three, or even all four of the colors. Because of the nearly limitless variations, a person’s color selection (and personality) is a very unique thing.
Source #2: Celebrate Differences
Differences are among the first things that we notice about the people we meet. It is easy to start a quick comparison of characteristics. Often, it is even much easier to make judgments or, at the very least, wish we were holding similar to us. In reality, each identity has a unique set of values and standards. These differ so dramatically that comparing them is a lot like the old saying about fiber-rich baby food and a melon. It’s simply impossible to compare.
Source #3: Rely on Strengths
Have you ever wanted, just for a second, to be like someone else? Have you wanted to possess a skill or ability that did actually come easily to another? In that moment, you recognized and valued a strength that was not your own. Each identity type holds a couple of natural strengths that the other kinds do not. In order to work and live in the most efficient way possible, we must rely on, and place more value on in both word and deed, the strengths of others. In turn, we need to learn to recognize that others depend on our strengths as well.
Source #4: Sometimes Less is More
People with having a positive self-image know how to make the most of their strengths. However, when put in a stressful position, even the most positive person will start to feel out-of-esteem. When this happens, qualities normally considered as strengths can become grossly zoomed or abandoned altogether. In times of stress, it is important to remember that any behavior (even having a positive one) taken to extreme can become a liability.
Source #5: Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover
In what some might look at a perfect world, we would all be motivated to behave in a manner in accordance with the preferences individuals identity type. In actuality however, this simply isn’t practical. Sometimes we need to act in a fashion that seems at probabilities with the identity. Circumstances at work, church, home, or school might need us to take in characteristics of a identity not our own.
Finding out do other colors is part of our growth process. It helps us stretch our abilities and grow more adept at handling any situation we come across. While starting this stretching out exercise, balance becomes the operative word. Be sure the goal is to do another colorrather than to become another color. Bending and stretching out are productive; breaking is not.
These are the five basic building blocks. They need to be positioned at the foundation of the relationships we are attempting to build. In understanding these, and building upon them, we learn to find no use for descriptors like good and bad or right and wrong. These are replaced by nonjudgmental descriptions as understanding begins to come into focus, and our relationships start to sizzle.